SATURDAY 24 MARCH 2007 – ORANGE BAG? NO … GARBAGE!

Another first!!!!!! Yes, it’s Saturday and this is the first time during my Year at Sainsbury’s that I’ve visited the orangery on a Saturday. And whilst I thought it would be heaving actually it wasn’t too bad. I met my postman on the way in! A delightful man called Ken who is always incredibly cheerful despite getting up at 4am every morning. He told me that he is in at 4.30am then spends a few hours sorting his walk (this is not putting on sensible shoes or ensuring that each pace is approximately 1 metre long but getting all the pile of post that is his round into street and house order). Then off he goes delivering it all aiming to finish about 9.30am. Not sure it’s the kind of job for me – 4am is a bit early and I imagine there are more rainy days than dry ones. Talking of sorting, Sainsbury’s has done some re-organisation of the store since I was last in. The vegetables and fruit area is all different and there were a good few trolley jams as people sought out their cabbages, potatoes, apples and the like. Actually it all seems very sensible – whereas before the fruit and vegetables were all muddled up now the vegetables are all in one aisle and the fruit in another. Well done Sainsbury’s! Also well done Sainsbury’s for some superb labelling on the packing for their white, multipurpose, tasty and versatile (the cheapest to you and me) potatoes. Rather than the usual vague ‘produced in the UK’ it says ‘Grown in Aberdeenshire by Phillip Benzie’. Fantastic! And an internet search reveals that Mr Benzie is a ‘link farmer’ for the Royal Northern Countryside Initiative and he and his link school won the ‘Count and Grow with Superspud 2006’ competition. So well done them. Anyway, after this heartwarming little story it’s time to move on to … fish. All the salmon this week was ‘Farmed in Norway’ (sorry, not for me) so I bought some cod in breadcrumbs which was a ‘Product of Scotland’. I wasn’t sure about this as I am somewhat wary about believing any ‘Produced in …’ claims any more but I bought it anyway as there was nothing else closer to home on offer. I’ve had a look at the producer’s website which was not particularly helpful (the usual ‘partnering’ and ‘solutions’ stuff) so I’ve e-mailed and asked them where their fish comes from! I’ll let you know when (if?) they reply. Last week I noticed that Sainsbury’s had won the ‘Best Wine Buying Team Award 2007’ but I was a bit worried that as the news did not feature on the Sainsbury’s website there might have been some kind of mistake. Well, I did a bit of research (Google) and I can confirm that Sainsbury’s did indeed carry off the prize (a set of 6 cut glass wine glasses, perhaps?) at the recent OLN Drinks Retailing Awards. OLN … ? Whatever is that? Well, it’s the ‘Off Licence News’, which presumably is a gripping publication aimed at … off licences. Sounds like a good candidate for Guest Publication on Have I Got News For You, don’t you think? OK, on to the checkout (I looked to see if 24 was open, no luck I’m afraid). The first thing I noticed was that Sainsbury’s shopping bags have changed from being orange on white to white on orange and they look … horrible. They also proudly announce ‘This bag is made from 33% recycled material’ which is hardly anything to be proud of as most of these bags end up in landfill somewhere and take zillions of years to bio-degrade. I had an overly cheerful cashier this week who chatted and whistled and scanned with gusto and then said ‘toodleoo’ or something like that as I left. Not having heard this word before I assumed it was Icelandic for goodbye but when I got home I checked it out and it is indeed an ‘informal farewell remark’. Well, you learn something new every day (even, surprisingly, in Sainsbury’s). Whilst I was waiting in line the Coinstar machine I noticed for the first time last week was being used and was making a noise that went on and on and on - just like a fruit machine delivering a huge jackpot! So, I checked it out and what you do is you chuck in a pile of coins and after it’s done its stuff you get a voucher to spend in the store worth less than the value of the coins you put in (the machine takes a ‘service charge’, inevitably). This all seems completely pointless to me but I took a look at the Coinstar website and the whole business is based on the premise that loads of people keep loose change in jars (even me - I have to admit that I save 1p and 2p coins in a jar) and a Coinstar machine is an easy way of getting rid of them (saves you having to count them all up, put them in bags and take them to the bank, like wot I do). So, whilst the slogan ‘Turns Coins into Cash’ is nonsense the best I could come up with was ‘Turn Coins into Sirloins’ and ‘Turn your Money into Honey’. OK, they need a bit of work, I know, but it’s a start. Well, that’s about it for this week but just in case you are wondering, Superspud is a somewhat decrepit Superman like character carrying a potato …

Items bought - 30
Cost - £43.22
Cost per item - £1.44
Checkout number – 8 (again – like buses, you wait ages for one then two come along)
Nectar Points balance 896

SUNDAY 18 MARCH 2007 - EIGHT ... GREAT!

Well, it's another Sunday visit again this week and, my word, the car park is empty! All those spaces I've coveted and aspired to over the weeks are free and I triumphantly park in pole position - right by the doors to the orangery. Down the escalator (not turned on, very disconcerting and disorientating), still all nice and quiet, turn the corner and ... the store is closed. It doesn't open until 11 and it's now 10.15. Bugger. So a big decision - go home again or kill time for 45 minutes. I know I'm sad but hanging around for 45 minutes to wait for Sainsbury's to open has to be the pinnacle of sadness so home it was for a cup of coffee. Returning at 11.15, what a transformation! The car park is pretty much full and the store is heaving. Clearly not the time to come! Anyway, my disappointment at being totally unable to beat the rush was tempered by some excitement on the way into the store - a man had dropped 6 bottles of wine in one of those cardboard carrier things and was glumly eyeing his St Emillion (for that is what it was) as it sloshed around on the floor. He looked so terribly sad! £30 literally down the drain. But he did have it coming, it has to be said, because the carrier was from ... Tescos! Clearly every little did not help in his (wine) case. Bypassing the wine lake (goodness red wine smells terrible at 11 on a Sunday morning) I enter the store and, continuing on the subject of wine, I notice a notice in the wine aisles proudly announcing that Sainsbury's has won the 2007 Drinks Buying Team award! Now how about that for a job? Buying drinks for a living - your round or mine, who cares! Interestingly, though, the Sainsbury's website doesn't mention this at all, which is all a bit strange. Maybe there has been some kind of leak (appropriate for drinks buying, don't you think?) and Sainsbury's have sent round their announcements either before the award has been announced or, perish the thought, before it has even been judged. Hmmmm. Whatever, it sounds like a bit of a non-award - if indeed Sainsbury's have won the Drinks Buyer of the Year and as they have already won the Wine Retailer of the Year what else is there to win? How about the Wine Warehouser of the Year Award or the Moving Cases of Wine Round the Country in an Environmentally Friendly Way Award or ... well, you get my drift. Awards for awards sake? Moving on, the 'Night In' bowls & plates are still there and it would seem that very few, if any, have been given away. I can't see them being there much longer - I wonder what will happen to them when they are rounded up when the promotion finishes? I hope they go to a good home and are not just taken down to the local tip. In truth, Sainsbury's will need the room for all the Easter eggs that are starting to crowd into the store, taking over from all the Mother's Day stuff that is all over the place (today's the day, if you'd forgotten). Anyway, on to the checkout and as luck would have it row 8 (one of my last two) was open, albeit with a longish queue. As I couldn't pass up the opportunity to claim my penultimate scalp I joined the queue, despite checkout 7 having no queue (customers already in the checkout 8 queue eyed me with suspicion). As I was waiting my turn I noticed a machine tucked away by the trolley park called a Coinstar which was proudly displaying the slogan 'Turn Coins into Cash'. I'm not sure what this machine does and the the ridiculous slogan doesn't help at all - it's a bit like saying 'Turn Water into Liquid'. Whatever, the machine looks dusty and disused and it may not be here much longer so I will need to check it out quickly and let you know how you indeed can ... turn coins into cash. So, only checkout 24 to go, the last one in the line, hopefully it will be open at Easter, otherwise I will have to write to Mr King and ask him to open it specially for me before my year is up!

Items bought 22

Cost £29.10

Average cost per item £1.32

Checkout number 8 (yippee!)

Nectar points 810

MONDAY 12 MARCH 2007 - IS CLAIR VOYANCE MY NEW NAME?

Oh my word. Readers will recall that I decided to buy some shares in my Sainsbury's (not yet but a little bit soon will be!) and the price jumped by 13% in one day and I gave Bernard Matthews a bit of a hard time and this was shortly followed by bird flu in his factory in Norfolk. Well now it's happened again. A few weeks ago I did a bit of research into supermarket trolleys and found a company called Clares that more than likely made the trolley that I dutifully push round the store each week. I say 'made' because, wait for it, they've gone bust! How creepy is that? Is it possible that a mere mention in my diary means that something significant (good or bad) will happen to the mentionees (those who are mentioned)? Well, think it's time to run a test. In due course I will report on a company that I come across as I trundle around the store and then see what happens. And if something good or bad does indeed happen to that company then I see a new career beckoning! Anyway, on to this week's shop which is on a Monday, I think the first time I've been in on a Monday but the day of the week is irrelevant once you're inside the hallowed portals. This week I noticed the 'Top 10 Offers' board tucked away by the fish counter. A very dull list it has to be said - 2 for 1 on this and money off that, you know the sort of thing. And, of course, it is pretty much pointless because if you do a) find it and b) read the list and c) decide to buy some of the stuff on offer the chances of actually finding it in the store are virtually nil. Of course what Sainsbury's should do is to have a big board near the entrance and then signpost (dreadful word) customers to the offers, something like 'Basics prawns 5 for 1 aisle 7'. Maybe some 'new entries' and 'fastest mover' tags like the pop charts have (are they still called this?) would be good too! Anyway, into the toilets. I got caught short today (must be the cold snap) and visited the gents. Not the best toilet in the world it has to be said (tired, I would call it) but perfectly serviceable nonetheless. But I saw something in there I've never seen before. Now that's caught your attention! Next to the urinal was a vertical handle for holding on to. I presume this is for people who have difficulty standing but, I don't know about you, but I need both hands for 'doing my business' (am I unusual?) so I don't have a spare hand for holding onto anything else, be it a handle or ...?! Anyway, being up for anything (not sure this is an appropriate phrase under the circumstances) I did try to use it but was in danger of having to emerge with two tone trousers so I had to bring my experiment to a premature close. Whatever, suitably refreshed, I continued my shopping and noticed that the plates and bowls in the Night In promotion are still there and as there is still a huge pile of them presumably most customers are having nights out! This is another good example of a half-hearted promotion. To get a plate or bowl you have to buy 5 items with the Night In stickers on them. But the plates and bowls are tucked out of the way and, believe me, if you can find 5 items with Night In stickers you really do deserve a prize! Why not advertise the promotion near the entrance together with the (lovely) bowls and plates and with some signposting (that word again) to the eligible items? Moving on, as you know I've been having a beef (almost literally!) about non-British ingredients in Sainsbury's ready meals and I have vowed not to buy their chicken korma again. But, this week, I needed a ready meal so diligently went through them all until ... success! I found one made from British beef - the Beef & Ale Pie. Hurrah! Finally, on to the check out and, yes, another one gone through (Number 7) so only 2 to go now, 6 and 24. As these are the first and last of the real checkouts the chances of these being open are slim, maybe I'll get lucky at Easter time when the store will be full and all the checkouts are open to cope with the rush? Fingers crossed! Finally finally, in my trolley this week was someone else's shopping list. What an interesting find! How about 'tin tounge', 'water crest' and '1 carrott'? I must look out for these next time, I fancy a bit of tounge for my tea ...

Items bought 31
Cost £40.06
Average cost per item £1.58
Checkout number 7
Nectar points 752

SUNDAY 4 MARCH 2007 - CHECK OUT CHECK

A bit out of kilter this week. My wife has now gone to the South of France for 4 months (lucky her – sun, brie & vin) and she asked me to go out with her (ostensibly to see where she would be living and to test the route but really as a bag carrier!). So my usual weekly shop was delayed until Sunday and because she had kindly left me lots of stuff in the freezer (hopefully labelled) I only needed a quick visit to Sainsbury’s. And the brevity of the visit coupled with the lack of fellow shoppers meant is was not an unpleasurable experience (note the double negative). Talking of fellow shoppers there were 2 small men with shaved heads identically dressed in grey judo style outfits doing their shopping today. I assume they are member of a religious sect but which one? Presumably one that allows shopping in supermarkets … Answers on a postcard please. Today I needed some light bulbs. The light bulb area is always such a mess, why should this be? I assume that customers open packets to make sure the bulbs are intact and then don’t put them back properly. And of course there is a bewildering array of different shapes, colours, bayonet/screw cap, watts etc. All I wanted was an ordinary 100 watt bulb for my hall. A pretty simple request, but could I find one in all the jumble? Er, no. I got really excited at the checkout today – the young man in front of me when asked if he wanted help with his packing said yes! Great, I thought, now I can see what happens and who does what. But, of course, he was joking so my hopes were dashed. But there is some good news! I have now been through all the real checkouts apart from 7, 8 and 24 and also through checkout 6 as well. You will recall (perhaps not) that checkouts 1 to 6 are only for baskets, cash, under 10 items etc so I’m not quite sure how I managed to get through checkout 6 as I don’t do baskets, cash, under 10 items etc but there you go. So, only 3 to go – and I guess for completeness sake I will organise my purchasing so I can go through checkouts 1 to 5 as well and complete the set. Moving on, you can park for free in the car park if your stay is under 30 minutes or if you spend over £15 in Sainsbury’s, in which latter case (note the elegant grammar) your ticket is validated by Sainsbury’s. When you stick your ticket in the pay machine the message ‘No Charge’ comes up in the display. I presume there is some kind of time check to stop people sticking their ticket in the machine when they arrive and then staying for hours & hours and getting out of the car park for free. I wonder how long you’re allowed to get out of the car park before your ticket expires? And then what happens? Something to ponder but not check, I feel!

Items bought 14
Cost £15.93

Average cost per item £1.14

Checkout number 7

Nectar points 654