SATURDAY 30 DECEMBER 2006 – TREASON REASON?

Oh dear. I’ve made a terrible mistake! For some bizarre reason I thought that Sainsbury’s Chief Executive’s first name was John. But it isn’t. It’s Justin. King. So all my diary entries referring to King John are completely wrong! Whilst this is probably high treason, luckily treason (along with piracy with violence) ceased to be a capital (hanging) offence in 1998 so I will live to tell the tale (which I am doing). I’ve thought about going back and changing all my entries to King Justin (it doesn’t have the same ring about it, does it?) but I’ve decided against it. But now I know why he didn’t send me a Christmas card! Anyway, what’s done is done. Please accept my apologies Mr King (which is how I will refer to him from now on because I’m a creep, a weirdo … ). The good news is that I’ve checked out Sainsbury’s life assurance offer over the Christmas break. After the excitement of opening my present (sic) I needed something inane to do. I decided against getting a quote as such life insurance I have was put in place many years ago (I am of a certain age) and to compare it with a quote today wouldn’t be a fair comparison. So, instead, I got a quote for a 34 year old non-smoking woman (one not on fire presumably) for £50,000 of level cover for a 15 year term. Why, I hear you ask. Well, it’s the example in the Sainsbury’s leaflet. And guess what? The Sainsbury’s website wouldn’t give me a quote as the monthly premium would be less than £5 which is very odd as the leaflet says the monthly premium would be £5. So, I steadily increased the sum insured (or is it assured?) until it would quote me to find that the non-smoking etc woman could actually get £63,065 of cover for a £5 monthly premium, ie a better deal than the £5 per month in the leaflet! I’m not sure what to make of this – it’s good that the leaflet is prudent (to use Gordon Brown’s favourite expression) but it’s somewhat alarming that it’s wrong. Perhaps in the time since the leaflet was printed Sainsbury’s have decided to look more kindly on 34 year old non-smoking women? But the date on the back of the leaflet (under the small print – only 5 lines this time) is only 11/2006 and surely life assurance rates can’t have changed that much in only a month or so? Maybe Mr King’s wife fits the bill (little) and so some subtle changes have been made to get her a better deal??? ‘Every little helps’ as the saying goes… Anyway, on to this week’s shop. First, flour. OK not my usual purchase I admit but it’s on the list so must be bought. And, bravely, I buy Basics flour because the slogan on the bag reads ‘A little less refined. Still rises to the occasion.’ and I feel some affinity to this statement being a bit rough myself and still being able to rise to the occasion (albeit occasionally, if you know what I mean). The mince pies are half price this week – I wonder if they will get even cheaper as the weeks go by? Or will they just disappear from the shelves? Something to look out for as I’m not worried about eating mince pies in April and by then they could be really cheap! The pork and egg cutting pie (remember this?) is also half price so, gleefully, I buy a chunk. Talking of eggs, amidst the barn eggs, free range eggs etc are eggs from … France! Now I’ve nothing against our French friends but is it really necessary for Sainsbury’s to buy in eggs from France – surely we have enough production in Britain to satisfy demand? It certainly looked like it from the egg area in the store. I went completely mad this week and bought a medium chicken for £2.99 and, yes, you guessed it, they are all £2.99. Can anyone explain how all the small and medium chickens can be exactly the same weight and same price? Sadly, there was one solitary turkey for sale, nearing its sell by date and looking a little miserable. And not even a Bernard Matthews one! I suspect it will never be sold now and will have to go into Sainsbury’s brown friend outside their back door. Finally, I nearly got bonked in the car park (I thought my Christmas wish had come true). Someone was doing the ‘backing up to get into a car parking space’ routine and didn’t see me coming up behind. Luckily I have quick reactions and was able to get into reverse before my front was re-arranged. Just as well, as the offending vehicle was one of those foreign noisy exhaust and wing on boot types driven by … you know what I mean. Talking of the car park one of the signs reads ‘No vehicle can leave the car park without putting their ticket into the paystation’. What dreadful English! First, as ‘vehicle’ is single ‘their’ should be ‘its’ (without an apostrophe) but as vehicles cannot put tickets into machines, whilst the statement would then be grammatically correct, it would be complete nonsense. So, I suggest a good old plain English statement like ‘You cannot leave the car park unless you have put your ticket into the paystation’. Eat your heart out Lynne Truss!

Items bought 40
Cost £52.22
Cost per item £1.30
Checkout number 18
Nectar Points balance Unknown (have yet to reclaim my card from thieving wife)