THURSDAY 2 NOVEMBER - ON THE LEVEL (BUT WHICH ONE?)

Yes it’s Thursday again! Well, I’ve got my shopping down to such a tee now that it lasts exactly a week and so in I have to go today otherwise I get no lunch. Anyway, this week I don’t have a pound coin to release the trolley from captivity (it had to happen sometime) so I ask on the enquiry desk for some change. Whilst there I congratulate the enquiree (she who receives enquiries) on Sainsbury’s winning the Supermarket of the Year Award. She looked at me blankly. “Did we?” she asks. I point to the banner just above our head (an apology is due – it was there all the time and wasn’t taken down after a week after all), which she hasn’t noticed. “Did you get a bonus?” I ask. Gloomy facial expression, followed by “I’m just pleased to have a job…..”. So I was right – disappointingly the award means nothing when you get down to the local level. So come on, Mr King (the big cheese) get some pride & passion into your local stores and make your employees feel part of a winning team! Anyway, on to this week’s shopping experience, which was actually pretty uneventful. I’ve noticed that the man on the wet fish counter is a younger version of Captain Birds Eye – now how appropriate is that! I wonder if Sainsbury’s have done this on purpose by advertising for a wet fish counter manager who looks like an old dog. Sea, that is. Talking of dogs I checked out Sainsbury’s pet insurance, and I’m afraid they only cover cats and dogs. How dull. I was hoping to be able to insure my cross between a parrot and a lion (when it talks you bloody well listen) but no such luck. I found another item from the Sainsbury’s Basics range today – 16 Seafood Sticks. They look like small pieces of seaside rock (can you still buy this?) and they so took my eye I bought a packet (a bit racy at 89p but it is in the interests of research). Their description is ‘Individually wrapped crab flavoured surimi fish protein sticks with water and starch’. Goodness, that sounds awful. And even worse it says ‘Thailand’ on the packaging. So, whatever is this stuff? Well, contrary to what you might think surimi is actually not a fish but is ‘minced, processed fish used in the preparation of imitation seafood, especially imitation shellfish’. A sort of mash of all sorts of fish which is then flavoured, in this case with extract of crab. Believe it or not, it is all above board and surimi is a recognised fish product. But it looks grim and I think my purchase is likely to end up in my brown friend outside the back door (although this means opening it which I am somewhat loth to do). I wonder if my sticks have the word ‘Thailand’ through them like the sticks of rock of old? I was under pressure at the checkout today so forgot to ask if I could deduct my Nectar points from my bill (under 500 so it shouldn’t be possible). The conveyor was on (without me asking) and it doesn’t half make you pack in a rush as all this tsunami like shopping comes hurtling towards you. I only just had time to pick up the Savings leaflet, I’ve got a bit put by so I’ll give this a go after my disappointments with car insurance and pet insurance. Next, the car park. My aim to park in as many places as possible in my Year at Sainsbury’s is not going too well as on quite a few occasions I’ve been forced to park in the dizzy heights of Level 2. The problem with Level 2 is that to get back to it with your shopping trolley requires an escalator ride to Level 1, a lift ride to Level 3 followed by a ramp walk down to Level 2. Tough for the geographically challenged like me. OK, you’ve worked it out, why don’t I get the lift to Level 3 and cut out one leg of the journey? Well, I always forget and do the ‘walking out onto Level 1 and looking for my car like a fool’ routine before realising my mistake. And I know its getting repetetive but the exit barrier is still broken. Finally, I’ve noticed that in addition to ‘mature cheddar’, ‘small chicken’ and so on my bill I managed to make some surprising purchases – I like the sound of Lorraine Quiche (a French tart, no doubt) and Warburton Crusty (a character from Little Britain?). There must be a name for this kind of thing, they’re not spoonerisms (those are Shirley Bassey = Burly Chassis) or malapropisms (like Del Boy’s “good to be back on the old terracotta”) but something similar. I’ll check it out and let you know. Anyhow, must go, I’m eager to try my individually wrapped crab flavoured … (not).

Items bought 31

Cost £51.03

Cost per item £1.65

Checkout number 15
Nectar Points balance 90