WEDNESDAY 4 APRIL 2007 - ANYONE FOR CROQUETTE?

Yes, I know there's been a bit of a gap since my last entry (not sure I should say that ... ) but I've been 'en France avec ma femme'. Anyway I got back on Tuesday to an emptyish fridge and a hungry daughter so my first chore is a trip to JS. And has absence made my heart grow fonder? In a word, no! Had to park on one of the upper levels today so took the lift down (lazy) and I noticed that a seductive female voice said 'Going Down' as the lift doors closed. I thought my luck was in but it wasn't to be ... perhaps I needed a longer trip in the lift? Anyway, the Specsavers leaflet giver outer was standing outside Sainsbury's today (Specsavers is next door) giving out, er, leaflets. Now, I always refuse this kind of thing but it's surprising how many people take a leaflet for something they are not remotely intereseted in. I usually say 'No thanks' quite politely (no need to be rude, the giver outer is only doing his or her job) but the 'lady' in front of me was much more to the point and verbally attacked him with a loud 'Piss Off!' The giver outer and I were somewhat taken aback by this but he took it in good heart with a smile on his face. Later I saw her muttering to herself in the store so clearly she needed more than some new specs. The bowls and dishes are gone! The 'Night In' promotion has presumably come to an end (dawn?) and so the remaining stock of bowls and dishes have been rounded up and disposed of. I wonder where they went? Very few, if any, were given out so there was quite a pile. I took another look at the 'Top 10 Offers' board today (next to the fish counter) and it seems to be brighter and newer than I remember it - has someone actually been reading my diary and taking action as a result?? Anyway, my eye alighted on the 'Corn Cobbettes 6 for 4' offer as a) I have never heard of a cobbette and b) whilst I've seen 3 for 2 offers before 6 for 4 seems quite bizarre. Whatever next? How about running a 17 for 13 promotion on something to get our mathematical juices really flowing! And whatever is a cobbette? Normally 'ette' is added to a word to signify 'female' or 'smaller' but as I assume corn on the cobs (or is it corns on the cob?) are sexless (but, my goodness, they look male to me) cobbettes must be small cobs which which sound a whole lot better than saying ... small cobs? If adding 'ette' to the end of a word does indeed signify smallness is baguette a small bag, palette a small friend and belette a small bell? Actually belette is French for weasel so if Sainsbury's run a 'Belettes 3 for 2' promotion, be careful! Going back a bit, 'alight' is an interesting word. The only time I've heard it is on London Underground where the young lady says 'Alight here for ... '. Whatever our foreign friends make of it I have no idea as I can't believe 'alight here' can possibly be in their phrase books. It does seem odd to use an expression which may be grammatically correct but rarely used in everyday speech but having said that 'Get off here for ... ' doesn't sound terribly British does it? I do like it when she says 'Alight here for the Royal Institute for the Blind' - I'll leave you to think about that. Moving on! The regal looking 'British' banner under the Indian prepared meals has gone (someone is reading this!) to be replaced by a banner which says 'Indian'. So far so good, but the British banner now appears under the cottage pie, bangers and mash, beef & ale pie and other 'British' prepared meals. I get it now! It's actually nothing to do with where the food comes from it's the origin of the dishes on offer. Hmmmmm. Guess what? I had a reply to my e-mail asking where the fish in the breaded cod comes from! And the answer is ... the North East Atlantic. Phew, that was lucky - I had a sneaking suspicion that by not saying where it was from on the packaging it meant it was farmed in Peru or something worse. On to the check outs! 24 not open so no rejoicing yet but I got an Active Kids voucher this week. In truth, I've been offered them for a while but have turned them down. Now this is a really good promotion. Schools collect vouchers and then exchange them for footballs, gym equipment, sports kit and the like. I took a look at the 'shop' on the Sainsbury's website and a Slazenger Cricket Prohelmet can be had for 468 vouchers and a Mitre Tactic Football for 112 vouchers. The helmets sell for around £30 and the footballs for around £6.50 so the 'exchange rate' is around 6p per voucher. Now I got 5 vouchers for spending £50 with Sainsbury's so that's 30p worth, which doesn't sound much but if everyone was to collect them, my word, schools would be able to buy loads of stuff. The only question is ... what do I do with my vouchers? The first school to e-mail me can have them! Anyway, that's it for this week apart from to tell you that my Nectar points balance is exacly 1000. What are the chances of that happening? Who cares! Au revoir, mes belettes.

Items bought 36

Cost £52.58

Average cost per item £1.46

Checkout number 8

Nectar points 1000 (honest)