SATURDAY 16 JUNE 2007 - NUMBERS GAME

Reader(s) will recall that I recently spotted a sign going into 'My Sainsbury's' car park claiming that the car park has 300 spaces. Well, today I checked this out and ... it doesn't. When you get to Level 5 there is a sign forbidding you to go onto levels 6 & 7 (these are outside on the roof) but I got onto level 6 OK without being arrested or photographed but Level 7 has a gate across it so level 6 is as high as you can go. The spaces on level 6 are numbered from 253 to 295, so if this level was open for parking then the '300 spaces' claim would be fine but as it isn't, it isn't. So, clearly the car park owner is having trouble with its math. And it is having trouble with its spelling as well because there is a sign next to the door to the lifts (no escalators this high!) which says that Sainsbury's customers need to validate 'there' tickets before leaving the car park. So, no good at numbers and no good at words - I feel a letter coming on! Going into the store a bizarre thing happened. I had just released my trolley (the last one in the trolley park) when a man older than me (yes, there are some!) asked if I would stick my chainy thing into his socket so he could get his £ back. Now I assumed he had finished his shopping and as the trolley bay was empty this was the only way he could get his £ back so I agreed, stuck my thing into his socket (sounds painful!) and out came his £. So far so good, but the way these things & sockets work meant that I now had his trolley locked to mine. So, we had to reverse the whole thing and I referred him to the long chain in the trolley park specifically designed for getting a £ back when the park is empty only to find he followed me into the store with his trolley. Maybe this is the Sainsbury's equivalent of 'Do you come here often?' and he was after my 'other thing'? Moving rapidly on, I bought yet another cheese & onion sandwich with ** next to the price (the maker, you will recall) and, whilst making my selection, I noticed that ** makes other sandwiches for Sainsbury's as well. I wonder who ** is? And it is somewhat strange that there is no * or *** or even +++ so I can only assume that there are only two sandwich makers for Sainsbury's - ** and one other. I'm not sure I've got to the bottom of this yet - I feel another e-mail coming on after a bit more research! I decided to buy some healthy crisps (a real oxymoron) to go with my sandwich and alighted on some 'Salsa with Mesquite Kettle Chips'. Good grief, what on earth are these? 'Salsa' is Spanish for 'sauce' and 'Mesquite' is a either suburb of Dallas or a 'leguminous plant of the Prosopis genus found in Northern Mexico'. I don't go with the suburb of Dallas so presumably it's something to do with the Mexican plant, but what? The Kettle Chips website (yes, there is one!) is completely unhelpful as all its says is that 'Mesquite is the special ingredient which makes this tomato recipe intriguingly smoky', whatever that means. And where does a kettle come in? I've seen some gobbledegooky names for stuff in my time but this takes the biscuit. I think what they mean is 'Smoky Tomato Sauce Flavoured Crisps' but it doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? Moving on ... it's checkout time! The re-usable bags have disappeared (Why? They were a really good idea) and our old friends the 'made from 33% recycled materials' bags are back. So Sainsbury's are still, in effect, advertising the fact that their bags are made from 67% non-recycled materials, which, frankly, is nothing to be proud of. Is it possible to make bags from 100% recycled material perhaps? If so, please let me (and Sainsbury's) know. On the way out of the store I was attacked by two Axa salesmen (unlike the TalkTalk salesmen the Axa lads hunt in packs). They were very polite, I have to say, but I was having none of it!

Items bought - 27

Cost £42.78

Average cost per item £1.58

Checkout number 21

Nectar points 1961