TUESDAY 31 JULY 2007 - CHICK TRICK

Well, here I am again and when tomorrow comes (1 August) I will be in my last month of my Year at Sainsbury's! When it's all done whatever am I going to do? How about a Year at Waitrose or a Year at Tescos? I'm open to offers! Maybe I should get this published (if I can find anyone insane enough to take it on). Perhaps Sainsbury's would be interested? I'm sure they would take it all in good heart - if nothing else it must be the most comprehensive customer survey they have ever had or, indeed, are likely to get. I could see it this Christmas nestling next to the magazines at the checkout and being snapped up by shoppers as a stocking filler. And making me a fortune! I can dream. And then there's the film rights! A bit dull I must admit but it has to be better than Big Brother ... Anyway, on to this week's shop. First, David Baarda. 'Who?' I hear you ask. Well, Dave (as I will call him) grows tomatoes for Sainsbury's all year round according to the huge sign above the vegetable aisle. And a good, honest grower he looks with his moustache and body warmer. Quite why he has to wear a body warmer if he can grow tomatoes all year round I'm not sure! And also, is he British? 'David' is okay but I'm not sure about 'Baarda'. Whatever, I looked closely at the tomato packaging to find that they come from Yorkshire so they must be Dave's! With regard to where Dave comes from, all is well though as an internet search reveals that David runs a tomato business on Teeside. Now, there's been a lot in the press recently about the floods and the effect on food prices and Sainsbury's have started to warm us up to this by posting a notice saying that some vegetables are in short supply as a result of 'harvesting difficulties'. Must be the understatement of the year! It will be interesting to see whether S puts up another notice in due course to tell us that their prices have gone up as a result of the 'harvesting difficulties'. Somehow I doubt it ... Next, small chickens. Regular readers will recall that many months ago I asked how all Sainsbury's small chickens can always weigh exactly the same amount week in week out, without any real conclusion other than to suspect skullduggery! Anyway, I haven't bought one for ages but this week chicken was on my list again and I noticed that the small chickens had 'New' stickers on them and that the price has gone up! Quite how they can be new as they've always been there I'm not sure but there you go. And I have no problem with the new price of £2.14 as it still seems ridiculously cheap but ... yes, you guessed it, they are still all exactly the same weight and price. If anybody knows the answer as to how this can be please let me know asap as my diary will be closing soon! Whilst passing the cheese & ham counter I noticed that the pork & egg cutting pie is back! It is, however, following the return of 'elle' from France no longer allowed so tempted as I was I had to pass it by. Whilst in the queue for the checkout I noticed a couple pouring huge quantities of coins into the Coinstar machine much to the interest of everyone in the store. Money laundering perhaps?? This week I remembered to ask for a Nectar game card only to be told that Sainsbury's have run out! How can this be? I thought of lodging a complaint but decided against it - if they have still run out next week I will though. You have been warned!

Items bought 29

Cost £49.55

Cost per item £1.70

Checkout no 10

Nectar points 2559

TUESDAY 25 JULY 2007 - SWIPE GRIPE

Coming out of the lift this week a man came in pushing a trolley and looking at the buttons asked me, in a semi-hysterical voice, if there was a floor 2 and, if so, how on earth could he get there? Readers who've been with me since the start will recall that I had this problem early on so it's good to know that I am not the only geographically challenged shopper! I was tempted to let him suffer but took pity on him instead and told that he needed to take the lift to level 3 and then walk down the ramp to level 2. My good deed for the day! Also on the way in (is there no end to this excitement) I met someone else I knew!! I bet there'll be another soon I thought, thereby proving the 'buses come along in threes' theory for humans as well. In the store I decide to buy another cheese & onion sandwich for my lunch only to find that they are no longer made by **. They are now made by . Whoever is now seems to make all the Sainsbury's sandwiches so well done them for getting one over on **. No doubt at the ** factory, when they heard the news that Sainsbury's were taking their business elsewhere, all you could hear was **** and *******! Moving on, I took a good look round for cameras this week and I can report that there are none apart from the brown glass thingy over the drinks aisle. So, it seems that it is relatively easy to shoplift in 'my' Sainsbury's! I know that shops measure their shrinkage (theft) and it would be interesting to know how much is lost from 'my' store. I suspect a lot. At the checkout I noticed that the wobbly card wipe machines on stalks have been fixed so they are no longer wobbly. I commented on this in my diary ages ago so maybe somebody is reading it after all. I remarked on the stiffening (of the machines on stalks) to the cashier in the hope that it would result in some stimulating conversation, but it was not to be. And guess what! In the checkout queue there was someone else I knew! QED!! Actually, to be fair, I wasn't sure it was someone I knew and I wasn't prepared to say hello to a woman on her own without being absolutely sure - I could get arrested for that kind of thing these days. Anyway, I'm 99.9% certain I did know her so I claim her as my third scalp. Now, I spent more than £10 or whatever it was I needed to, but I didn't get my Nectar swipe card. I realised this on the way out but hadn't the heart (or, to be frank, the interest) to go back and make a scene. Next time I will remember to ask!

Items bought 27

Cost £33.20

Cost per item £1.22

Checkout no 17

Nectar points 2461

WEDNESDAY 18 JULY 2007 - SEND IN THE CLOWNS

Despite a 'big shop' a couple of days ago I've been sent back again for some more healthy foodstuffs - lettuce, yogurt, you know the kind of thing. On the way there was a traffic jam caused by ... a Sainsbury's lorry! I have to say I thought that big lorries were banned from towns during the day so quite why this one was on the loose at 4 o'clock in the afternoon I'm not sure. Anyway, its driver was adept at weaving his way through very tight spaces and in view of my (unhealthy) interest in Sainsbury's I was quite content to sit and watch him do his stuff (unlike the other drivers) leaving only inches to spare. Anyway, on to my shopping experience. Having bought the greenery on my list I passed the meat counter and noticed a bizarre sign which read 'Mey Selections'. I asked whether this was a spelling mistake for 2 month old meat only to be told that Mey is in Scotland and that this was an advert for the 'Sourced in Scotland' meat. Well, I've never heard of Mey, but on checking I find that it is indeed in Scotland between Thurso and John o'Groats, in other words in the middle of nowhere. I don't think there is much there apart from a castle, so it seems a bit odd for Sainsbury's to be including it in its advertising, although full marks for being absolutely honest about where the Scottish meat in fact is coming from (unlike the 'British' meat I had a go about last time). At the checkout the man in front of me had his face painted like a clown's and I was very tempted to ask him why but I'm afraid that I was wary of doing this just in case he was a little challenged in the brain department (you can't be too careful these days!). So I asked the cashier instead after he'd gone, which gave me an excuse to engage in conversation with the cashier which I said I would try and do from now on. Anyway, it turned out that he had a good reason for looking like he did (other than lunacy) - his daughter's party or something like that. Whilst in the queue I noticed a small child under the Coinstar machine! I presume he was looking for coins that had broken loose but I heard no whooping or cheering so I assume he was unlucky. On the way up the escalator without steps (I think this is called a travelator) I saw an old friend, an acquaintance really, coming down and we started a conversation that got louder and louder as we got further and further apart. She's the first person I've seen that I've known on my JS trips for ages - perhaps there will be more in the weeks to come on the buses principle that you wait ages for one to come along and then three come together. We will see!

Items bought 10

Cost £14.26

Cost per item £1.42 (didn't need a calculator this time!)

Checkout no 7

Nectar points 2377 (including 10 extra, not had these before ... )

SUNDAY 15 JULY 2007 - BRITISH? RUBBISH!

Well, my wife has now returned and here we both are doing a 'big shop' as the fridge and cupboards are bare. And whilst I am no longer a bachelor again (yippee) it does mean that my Year at Sainsbury's is drawing to a close and with it my diary (boo hoo). But let's not be downhearted, it's business as usual for a few weeks anyway! So, what happened this week? Well, first, there is a new promotion - 'Swipe to Win'. Whilst this sounds like a prize for the person who can pinch the most stuff without being caught it is in fact a Nectar card promotion - if you spend more that £10 at Sainsbury's and present your Nectar card (hence the 'swipe') you get a game card. I (sorry, we) get one but despite the upbeat '1 in 3's a winner' when I peel off the front the disappointing message 'Have Another Go' is revealed. This involves going on to the Nectar website (yes, there is one), typing in the unique code from my game card, then my Nectar number and then my e-mail address and then there is a load of small print that tells me that I have now agreed to be bombarded with 'offers' from Nectar (spam in other words). Luckily I have a defunct e-mail address that I never look at for this kind of thing. Anyway, having done all that I then have a choice of 4 balloons to pop (why is this all so difficult?) - I choose the green one and, surprise, surprise I am indeed a 'winner'. And my prize? £8 off horrifically expensive family attractions such as Chessington Zoo and Madam Tussauds. No doubt the other balloons have exactly the same 'prizes' and all of this is an elaborate way of collecting up e-mail addresses for 'marketing' purposes. Well, I won't be logging on to the Nectar website again but hopefully soon I will win first time and will be able to report a more satisfying winning experience before my diary closes. Talking of being caught for pinching stuff there was a security man from Reliance patrolling around this week (aren't they the lot that let all the prisoners go?). Is this a new phenomenon or have I not noticed him before? Perhaps he only comes out on a Sunday? Whatever, I presume he is there to deter shoplifters but I cannot imagine a young lad in a uniform wandering around looking bored is going to make any difference but I guess it's worth a try. But it did remind me to look for cameras! I'll look round a bit more carefully next time but I think there is definitely a hidden one above the drinks aisle as there is an suspicious odd looking circular thing in the ceiling above which I bet lurks a camera. Moving on, you will recall I was unhappy with the 'Best of British' banner above the meat counter when most of the meat had been 'Produced in the UK' according to its labels as opposed to it being 'Sourced in the UK'. Well I e-mailed Sainsbury's about this and my fears were well founded as they told me that 'meat that is produced in the UK means that the animal was not born, raised and culled in the United Kingdom'. So, despite the impression given by the banner the vast majority of the meat beneath it was British it was in fact not British. I am appalled! And whilst I am sure that Sainsbury's are following the rules it is quite clear the rules need to be changed. Not sure who is responsible for this (is it the dreaded EU I wonder?) but somebody, somewhere needs to sort it out. And it is blindingly simple! To be labelled as British the product needs to originally come from the UK. Period. Ignore all the processing, packaging and so on it's where the product originally comes from that matters. Luckily the banner has been taken down otherwise there would have been hell to pay! Anyway, on to the check outs and a new experience this week! The cashier actually started a conversation! She asked me whether it was still raining to which I responded 'yes'. Not a great conversation I admit but it's a start ... Next week I will make a point of engaging my cashier in stimulating conversation such as 'Have you had your holidays yet?' (the good old hairdresser's favourite) and I'll let you know what transpires. Well, that's about it for this week other than to tell you that just like I said they would the animal Dyson hoovers have gone! I doubt they sold so presumably they have been rounded up and deported to Malaysia from whence they came.

Items bought 62

Cost £96.79

Cost per item £1.56

Checkout number 20

Nectar points 2339

FRIDAY 29 JUNE 2007 - PRESENT EXPENSE

Well, I'm off to collect my wife from France demain (tomorrow) and will be gone for 2 weeks so this is just a quick trip to JS to say goodbye (adieu) and to pick up a few essentials like the presents needed for the French chums she has made whilst she has been away. My daughter is back home from university and amazingly she agrees to come with me to help! First, I introduce her to the Coinstar machine. It duly does its stuff with all the 1ps I've been saving up over the last few months, spits out the odd non British coin and produces a voucher for £1.73. Daughter pronounces it 'cool' - praise indeed! We then march into the store proper and start to work through our list. After a while we realise that we need a basket so back I have to go to the entrance. Not my usual efficient self I admit but apart from this it all goes remarkably smoothly. We are greatly cheered by the fact that Pimms is being sold for £8 (yes, eight pounds) off per bottle - now that's what I call a sale. Shows the mark up though doesn't it as I presume Sainsbury's still make a handsome profit even with £8 off. As we have '10 items or less' we went through one of the '10 items or less' checkout and that was that. Easy!

Items bought 11

Cost £24.28

Average cost per item £2.20

Checkout number 6
Nectar points 2107