TUESDAY 26 JUNE 2007 - WORST FIRST AID?

I've been 'en France' again so it's been 10 days since my last trip to Sainsbury's. There's quite a bit to talk about this week so here goes! First, on the way in I had to avoid a Virgin Media stall that had sprung up since my last visit. Luckily they were talking to a potential customer (mug) so I managed to slip by unnoticed. Second, I made a deliberate attempt to see if I could find a Sainsbury's product with 5 reds on the Wheel of Death. I'd already worked out that prepared pies and cakes were likely candidates and I was right! The Melton Mowbray Pork Pies and the chicken pies and steak pies were all 4 reds and an orange, as were the Viennese Whirls but I couldn't find anything with 5 reds. I wonder if there is anything? If you find something let me know please! Perhaps next week I should look for 5 greens - now surely that must be impossible unless it was bottled water or lettuce or something like that? Talking of greens, in the vegetable area I alighted upon a 'pointed cabbage' and indeed it was! I've never seen these before, if it wasn't in the organic range I'd be accusing of Sainsbury's of trying to sell us genetically modified vegetables. Of course, as everyone knows, the real name for these is 'Brassica Oleracea L. var. Capitata' and apparently they originate from some cross breeding in Germany in the late 20th century. Gulp! Doesn't this have a familiar ring to it? Whatever, I guess the ultimate in genetic modification would be cubed cabbages (ie cabbages in the shape of a cube) as these would pack perfectly into boxes with no air and wouldn't roll about on the shelves generally making a nuisance of themselves. Next, over the meat counter there was a banner with 'Best of British' on it. Now, as you know, I'm worried about Sainsbury's’ use of the word 'British' so I took a closer look. The chops and other meat on the left of the counter had 'Produced in UK' on their labels whereas the Scottish beef had 'Origin UK' on it. My goodness, this sounds fishy (or meaty perhaps?). I have an awful sneaking feeling that the 'Produced in UK' is not British meat at all but has had something minor done to it in the UK so that Sainsbury's can say 'Produced in the UK'. I've e-mailed Customer Services about this - I'll let you know the outcome. If it does indeed turn out not to be British meat at all I will be apopeltic, aplotetic ... very cross! Anyway, I mustn't jump the gun but I'm not holding my breath. Now, here's a bit of useless information for you. Justin King (Mr King to you and I) drives a Maserati according to the Sunday Times. There is clearly money to be made in running a shop! I guess this explains why he has yet to visit my local Sainsbury's - it would probably get stuck going over all the bumps and humps in the car park and despite the ParkMark award I bet somebody would do some mischief to it. Don't be put off though Mr King - you can always park at my place and we'll get the bus down. Now, checkout 24. Regular readers will know that this the only real checkout (ie not baskets only, 5 items or less) that I haven't been through and recently there has been all manner of junk on it and by it - a broken chair, piles of magazines etc etc. Well, today it was clear and looking every inch like a checkout waiting to be used! I'll keep my fingers crossed although there isn't long to go now, probably only 5 or 6 visits what with my holidays coming up and so on. Great excitement whilst I was in the checkout queue. Over the public address there came an announcement 'First Aiders to the checkouts please' (I must admit I don't recall hearing public address announcements before, perhaps this is something new?). I looked up and down the checkouts expecting to see someone suffering from shock at seeing the bill or finding that the Nectar card had been left behind or some other serious ailment but it wasn't until I'd left the store that I spotted the culprit (or perhaps I mean patient?). A young girl was sitting on one of the benches looking very pale and sipping water with 3 First Aiders giving her helpful advice like 'Don't try and move'. Now, I'm not an expert in First Aid but 'Don't try and move' doesn't seem particularly helpful to me, although I'm sure the Aider was doing his best. Actually I'm surprised that Sainsbury's can provide any form of First Aid under Health & Safety Legislation because if, in fact, the worst thing this girl could have done was not move then Sainsbury's could well have been liable? Interesting. Or perhaps not. Anyway, the moral is - don't get ill in Sainsbury's, hold on a bit longer and go round the corner to Boots and get ill there, preferably next to the pharmacy counter! So, that's pretty much it for this week, other than to tell you that during my time off from Sainsbury's (for good behaviour) I bought some petrol and claimed some Nectar points with the result that the closing balance on my last Sainsbury's bill of 1961 points turned into an opening balance of 1991 points on this bill. Now, on the basis of 2 points for every £ spent this means I bought £15 of petrol but I thought I bought more than this ...? I really ought to check it out but you'll be pleased to know I've 'moved on' from Nectar points.

Items bought 23
Cost £34.64
Average cost per item £1.51
Checkout number 21 (twice in a row!)
Nectar points 2059

SATURDAY 16 JUNE 2007 - NUMBERS GAME

Reader(s) will recall that I recently spotted a sign going into 'My Sainsbury's' car park claiming that the car park has 300 spaces. Well, today I checked this out and ... it doesn't. When you get to Level 5 there is a sign forbidding you to go onto levels 6 & 7 (these are outside on the roof) but I got onto level 6 OK without being arrested or photographed but Level 7 has a gate across it so level 6 is as high as you can go. The spaces on level 6 are numbered from 253 to 295, so if this level was open for parking then the '300 spaces' claim would be fine but as it isn't, it isn't. So, clearly the car park owner is having trouble with its math. And it is having trouble with its spelling as well because there is a sign next to the door to the lifts (no escalators this high!) which says that Sainsbury's customers need to validate 'there' tickets before leaving the car park. So, no good at numbers and no good at words - I feel a letter coming on! Going into the store a bizarre thing happened. I had just released my trolley (the last one in the trolley park) when a man older than me (yes, there are some!) asked if I would stick my chainy thing into his socket so he could get his £ back. Now I assumed he had finished his shopping and as the trolley bay was empty this was the only way he could get his £ back so I agreed, stuck my thing into his socket (sounds painful!) and out came his £. So far so good, but the way these things & sockets work meant that I now had his trolley locked to mine. So, we had to reverse the whole thing and I referred him to the long chain in the trolley park specifically designed for getting a £ back when the park is empty only to find he followed me into the store with his trolley. Maybe this is the Sainsbury's equivalent of 'Do you come here often?' and he was after my 'other thing'? Moving rapidly on, I bought yet another cheese & onion sandwich with ** next to the price (the maker, you will recall) and, whilst making my selection, I noticed that ** makes other sandwiches for Sainsbury's as well. I wonder who ** is? And it is somewhat strange that there is no * or *** or even +++ so I can only assume that there are only two sandwich makers for Sainsbury's - ** and one other. I'm not sure I've got to the bottom of this yet - I feel another e-mail coming on after a bit more research! I decided to buy some healthy crisps (a real oxymoron) to go with my sandwich and alighted on some 'Salsa with Mesquite Kettle Chips'. Good grief, what on earth are these? 'Salsa' is Spanish for 'sauce' and 'Mesquite' is a either suburb of Dallas or a 'leguminous plant of the Prosopis genus found in Northern Mexico'. I don't go with the suburb of Dallas so presumably it's something to do with the Mexican plant, but what? The Kettle Chips website (yes, there is one!) is completely unhelpful as all its says is that 'Mesquite is the special ingredient which makes this tomato recipe intriguingly smoky', whatever that means. And where does a kettle come in? I've seen some gobbledegooky names for stuff in my time but this takes the biscuit. I think what they mean is 'Smoky Tomato Sauce Flavoured Crisps' but it doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? Moving on ... it's checkout time! The re-usable bags have disappeared (Why? They were a really good idea) and our old friends the 'made from 33% recycled materials' bags are back. So Sainsbury's are still, in effect, advertising the fact that their bags are made from 67% non-recycled materials, which, frankly, is nothing to be proud of. Is it possible to make bags from 100% recycled material perhaps? If so, please let me (and Sainsbury's) know. On the way out of the store I was attacked by two Axa salesmen (unlike the TalkTalk salesmen the Axa lads hunt in packs). They were very polite, I have to say, but I was having none of it!

Items bought - 27

Cost £42.78

Average cost per item £1.58

Checkout number 21

Nectar points 1961

SUNDAY 10 JUNE 2007 - COINING IT IN

A Sunday visit this week - daughter now home from university and my fridge is somewhat short of produce and what there is is lacking in quality (no salad, freshly squeezed orange juice - you know the kind of thing). It's busy and I have to admit that the cool of the fridge area is wonderful after the humid heat of outside. How did we survive without air conditioning? Now, first, I had a reply from Sainsbury's about the asterisks on my cheese sandwich. Again this was in two different type faces with my question repeated back to me in one and the answer in another. I presume that the advisor (or whatever they are called at Sainsbury's) cut and pasted the answer bit from another e-mail or document, hence the two different typefaces. Anyway, the answer is that 'the asterisks are a code that our supplier uses to help them with traceability and in knowing who made the sandwich'. So, somewhere out there is a sandwich maker who supplies someone else who in turn supplies Sainsbury's. Literally a food chain! Clearly there can't be too many cheese sandwich makers otherwise the label would be covered in asterisks - more stars than the Milky Way! So, whoever ** is, well done, I enjoyed it. On the way in I had a go on the Coinstar as I said I would and it is a seriously impressive bit of kit. You chuck all your coins into a tray and it wheezes and clatters as it counts your coins and a little display screen tells you how it's getting on, it lists all the coin denominations and the numbers move up as your coins are counted. It also rejected a couple of Euro coins (20 cents?) that look very similar to our 1p. Great! It took its 7% service charge and out came a ticket for £1.30 for me to use at the checkout. Presumably Coinstar make money out of these machines but they must have to take in a huge amount of coinage to cover the cost of the machine, servicing it, taking out all the coins and banking them and so on. Anyway, good luck to them and I will return! Also on the way in I bought another savings stamp (£2 and counting!) and stuck it on my card when I got home. All completely pointless really but it could be interesting when I cash it in as I suspect it will be a new experience for Tim or whichever cashier I get that week. Reader(s) will remember that I bought some summer offer products a few weeks ago so I could get a free picnic rug (still not used). I have resisted the temptation to get another but noticed this week that the box which houses all the goodies has taken a real beating - clearly this offer is too good to miss and customers are falling over themselves to grab the rugs etc from the box before they all disappear! Nothing much caught my eye as I was going round the store but the checkout delivered for my diary as usual! First, the cashier picked up some of the next customer's stuff by accident and included it on my bill so this resulted in a crediting routine. Second, my Coinstar voucher caused some scratching of heads but it all worked in the end. Maybe I should save up a pile of this kind of thing and ceremoniously present them to a cashier all in one go? If I had enough of them presumably I could end up with a negative bill and get money from Sainsbury's! The ultimate achievement - being paid to do the shopping ... Third (is there no end to this excitement?) the man in front of me asked for help with his packing! Not sure why, he looked able bodied enough and fully aware of his surroundings but, anyway, I was expecting an onrush of orange coated assistants from behind the scenes but alas ... no. All that happened was the cashier picked up a carrier bag and stuffed his shopping into it after it had been swiped. Another illusion shattered! Finally, for this week I jotted down 'card' as I was going round but in the cold light of day I can't for the life of me remember why. Finally, finally, another interestingly described item on my bill this week - wild rocket leaves. An Iranian missile perhaps? And finally, finally, finally I did donate my Active Kids Vouchers to the school down the road and were they grateful? You betcha!

Items bought 27
Cost £38.49 (before my Coinstar voucher)

Average cost per item £1.42

Checkout no 8

Nectar points 1877

Active Kids vouchers 0 (I will delete this bit next week)

MONDAY 5 JUNE 2007 - STARS IN MY EYES

Well, I did what I said I would do and took my broken wine bottle back. The (senior) gentleman behind the enquiry counter freely admitted that he had not come across this before but was incredibly helpful and cheerfully returned my £3.99. He had to input it all to the computer and was a bit stumped over 'Reason for Return' but after a bit of discussion we agreed that 'Damaged' was as good a reason as any. He said that the bottle will be returned to the supplier for investigation, I wonder if it will? Perhaps I should e-mail Sainsbury's in London to tell them that a broken bottle is on its way! Talking of e-mailing Sainsbury's I have just asked them another question. On my Cheese & Spring Onion sandwich (naughty but nice!) there are 2 asterisks after the price but for the life of me I cannot see on the packaging what this means. I see that * means 'From cow's milk' but ** is a mystery - so I've had to send another e-mail to Sainsbury's I'm afraid. I'll let you know what transpires. Today I had my second wonky trolley since starting my Year at Sainsbury's. Not bad! Mind you, this was incredibly wonky with a complete mind of its own so I have to admit it was a bit of a trial getting round without seriously injuring my fellow customers. I had a very short shopping list this week (not quite sure why, I have been eating normally) so I wasn't in the store very long and, as a result, there isn't much to report. At the checkout there was a big notice stuck to the till saying that there has been some impropriety with regard to Coinstar vouchers and that cashiers have to be wary. You will recall that the Coinstar 'turns coins into cash' (a bizarre slogan, but there you are). Unfortunately I didn't get time to read all the notice so I'm not sure what's been going on but it did remind me that I have yet to use the Coinstar, which I will do next week. Success! I put £1 into the savings stamp machine and got out ... a savings stamp! It's a funny little thing with 'Sainsbury's', '£1' and a reference number on it and a thin metal strip down the left hand side, presumably some kind of security device. Anyway I've stuck it on my card (this is all too exciting for words) and I think I'll get another 4 and then cash them in. It should be interesting to see how it is all handled as I can't believe anybody but me is doing this. Interestingly the gum tasted very odd, a Basics product perhaps? The Kids Vouchers have finished (boo hoo) and as no-one has e-mailed me asking for my vouchers I will donate all 69 of them to the primary school down the road. And that's about it for this week, short and sharp!

Items bought 22

Cost £26.97
Average cost per item £1.22
Checkout no 19
Nectar points 1803
Active Kids vouchers 69

TUESDAY 29 MAY 2007 - FRIGHT WINE!

The day after Bank Holiday Monday and it's pretty quiet so a leisurely shopping experience this week! What customers there were seemed to be in a queue at the ham & cheese counter. Ordinarily there are two servers so we are all dealt with in double quick time (the numbered ticket system never has to be used) but today because one of the servers was busy neatly putting out cakes and pastries on cardboard plates (presumably for a joining or leaving party?) we were left queuing & fuming. After a while of standing around I managed to catch the eye of the man who mans the fish counter (the Captain Bird's Eye lookalike) and, having pointed out the queue, within a few seconds we were overburdened with servers. Not a big deal, but it was frustrating that the server was more interested in some behind the scenes activity (the mind boggles) than in serving! Moving on, the dreaded TalkTalk representative was back in the store today. Readers will recall that the one before the last (the last one didn't talk at all despite me hanging around expectantly) asked me 'Do you mind if I asked you a question?', to which I cleverly replied 'No, but I won't reply'. This one had a different script. First she asked 'Do you collect Nectar points?'. Red rag to a bull but, being an honest sort of chap, I answered in the affirmative. She then asked 'Do you have a BT landline?' again to which I answered in the affirmative. I was then bombarded with if this then that we guarantee to save you 55% no contract blah blah blah. Too much information! I put up my hands in submission, shook my head and walked on. God, how I hate these phone companies, please leave us alone! I must be thankful for small mercies as they've nearly stopped calling me at home, thank goodness. My tactic of just putting the phone down and leaving them to chat on to nobody and eventually realising that I'm not listening and then trying to ring off which they can't do for about 5 minutes as my phone is off the hook during which time it's cost them money and they are unable to call yet more hapless buggers like me is obviously working! Anyway, on to the checkout and hurrah Sainsbury's have introduced a recycleable bag. It is much more sturdy than the thin plastic ones of old and people are encouraged to re-use them. Hmmmm. I'm not at all sure this will work as if people didn't re-use the thin flimsy ones why should they re-use the slightly thicker ones? Doesn't apply to me, of course, as I bring my green ones in every week. There needs to be an incentive - why not deduct 5p from the bill of anyone who re-uses a bag and donate the money to environmental projects? In this way customers get paid to re-use the bags and Sainsbury's can be overtly seen to be an environmentally friendly organisation. Win, win! Having gone through the check out I tried again to buy a savings stamp but again the machine returned my £1. I will give this one more go next week and then complain! Now, I'm doing this diary entry a few days after my visit (my standards are slipping) and I can report that there was a disaster with the wine that I bought. As I was drawing the cork (I think this is the right expression) the glass neck parted leaving bits of glass all over the place and in the wine. So, down the sink it all went and I vowed to return the bottle to Sainsbury's at my next visit. I know it was 50% off, but that shouldn't mean substandard bottles!

Items bought 32

Cost £53.25

Average cost per item £1.66

Checkout no 15

Nectar points 1751

Active Kids vouchers 69