SATURDAY 18 AUGUST 2007 - LETTUCE AFFRAY

There was a great item on the news recently - a man had got more than he bargained for when he bought a pack of Sainsbury's lettuce as inside was ... a lizard! This caused much mirth on Radio 2 where I heard it (the station for people of a certain age). Anyway, it sounded a bit of a long story but in the end the lizard went to a reptile collector and Sainsbury's visited him and gave him a replacement bag of lettuce, which was very big of them I thought. Funnily enough, the day after I heard this, a squashed beetly looking thing (dead and cooked) dropped out of my Sainsbury's bread as I was cutting it! Ordinarily I would be straight back to the store with it but I decided that if all you get for a lizard in a bag of lettuce is ... a bag of lettuce it probably wasn't worth it. So the beetle went into my brown friend outside the front door (it's been promoted from the back door) to await turning into compost or whatever they do with the mush that is collected once a week. Anyway, onto this week's shop. Once again I met some people I knew on the up escalator as I was going down. Perhaps the people I know only come out in the summer? Now, these two are 'neighbours' who we don't speak to. They have built themselves an old people's bungalow at the bottom of the garden and lied and cheated their way to getting a building built that was never approved by the local Council in the first place. It's taken forever and we've had to endure planning appeals, the Local Government Ombudsman, worry, frustration etc and it's all cost us a fortune. Meanwhile Lord & Lady Muck sit in their garden sipping their Sanatogen as though nothing has happened. So I did the usual 'staring and ignoring' routine at them as they trundled up the escalator. Believe you me I will get my revenge and it will be so sweet! Into the store. I bought some blueberries this week. In truth, I've been buying them for a while since 'elle' has returned from France and I noticed that the price sticker has £3.99 crossed through, £1.99 crossed through and then the real price of £1.49. As far as I can remember this has always been the case so it seems the illusion that we are getting a bargain is just that - the price always has been £1.49 and perhaps this is a ploy to make us thing that we are getting something on the cheap. Another e-mail to Sainsbury's perhaps? Perhaps not. Success! You will remember that I found a product with 4 reds and 1 orange on the wheel of death (health) and surmised that it would not be possible to find a product with 5 greens unless it was water? Well, this week I did indeed find a product with 5 greens - 'British Chicken Quick Cook Breast Steaks'. Needless to say I bought some immediately - a British product with 5 greens, how exciting is that! On to missing milk. As I turned into the milk area I saw 2 Sainsbury's lads hunched over a calculator type thing uttering words like 'we should have 5 of these' and 'where can they have gone' etc etc. I chatted to one of them later on and I found out that Sainsbury's can scan the bar code of any product into this little machine and it tells them how much stock they have! If you know how much is in the stockroom you can then work out how much should be on the shelves. How clever! And even more clever is that most of the time what they should have, they have, although when there is a discrepancy it is usually less stock than there should be probably due to shrinkage (theft to you and me). And I'm not surprised that there is less milk than there should be as it is a Saturday and the light fingered brethren amongst us would have been hard at work. Next, the Top Ten items. As you know I often look at the Top Ten board and today was no exception. But guess what was on there - Bernard Matthews turkey! It seems so long ago that I was giving BM a hard time in my diary following the bird flu scandal (Bernard Matthews turkeys - they're flootiful) and I can't remember what the outcome was. Were they guilty or not guilty? Whatever, Sainsbury's are obviously still stocking his mush masquerading as turkey and I'm delighted that it seems they are struggling to sell it and are having to put it on their Top Ten offers board to get it away. You will be pleased to hear I've stopped putting my vegetables into those clear little plastic bags and I now put them loose into my trolley. This gives me the opportunity to lay them out neatly on the checkout conveyor as though they are in a show waiting to be judged! I really must get out more. I was greatly excited by a banner offering 5p off petrol for the next few weeks but due to the excitement of the vegetable laying out I forgot to ask the cashier for my voucher. Damn, must remember next time. And next time or the time after may be the last of my Year at Sainsbury's ...

Items bought 29
Total cost £36.11
Cost per item £1.25
Checkout no 12
Nectar points 2761

MONDAY 13 AUGUST 2007 - PRICES AND DEVICES

Well, I knew it wouldn't last and here I am back again 3 days later! Looking on the positive side it means you are getting your money's worth as my diary nears its conclusion. So what happened today? Well, I noticed that there are lots of little stickers up all over the place saying 'Tesco price check' and then an amount which is exactly the same price as the Sainsbury's price. I can't see the point of this. OK, so some stuff is the same price as Tesco's is but statistically that has to be true for a certain percentage of what Sainsbury's and Tesco's sell given the large number of items that are the same in both stores. So why tell us? Actually it begs the question as to which items are more expensive in Sainsbury's and which are less expensive. Perhaps what Sainsbury's should do is to put little stickers on items that are cheaper than in Tesco - assuming, of course, that there are some! Is this allowed under competition law, health & safety rules etc etc? Probably not. Moving on to a subject dear to my heart - wine! Sainsbury's put the white wine that is 'on offer' in a fridge near the drinks aisle and as I was extracting a couple of half price wines I noticed a little sticker (this is my week for stickers!) saying that 'To maintain great prices fitted with security device'. Whatever does this mean? First, there was no security device that I could see and what fitting security devices has to do with great prices I really don't know. The only thing I can thing of is that security devices prevent theft and theft costs money so less theft means cheaper prices. Maybe I'll e-mail Sainsbury's and ask them - but, then again, perhaps not. Some excitement at the checkout today. First, the man in front of me spotted that his orange juice was leaking so there was the ringing of the bell which was followed by the going and getting another one routine. And then it was the wrong one - he wanted one with bits in. Men have to look out for their bits! So then there was another ringing of the bell followed by the going and getting another (correct) one routine. Success! By now the queue was building up nicely. And then my cashier had trouble with finding nectarines on his fruit price list. There was much looking up and down the list and scratching of head and in the end he asked me to find it for him! This I duly did with no trouble (if you're interested nectarines have the code 4063). By this time the queue was snaking away into the distance and I fully expected the lectern that comes out at Friday lunchtimes to be rolled out for an emergency consultation! Whilst all this was going on I noticed a book tucked behind the till with the title 'Record of Challenges and Refusals Book'. I assume this is for noting instances when people under 18 try and buy drink and the cashiers are unable to 'Cashier Confirmed Over 18' having looked at passports, driving licences and the like. Is it a legal requirement? And what is in it? Is it Big Brother at work again? I must take a peek and report back! The title of the tome is interesting - surely 'Record of ... ' is sufficient, without 'Book' at the end? Another one for Lynne Truss or John Humphrys. Also whilst in the queue the alarms went off - is there no end to this excitement? As ever they were completely ignored by everyone apart from me! Looking around for the reason (perhaps a 14 year old was trying to buy drink?) I noticed that there are 3 lights on the wall - red, amber and green and the amber one was flashing. It soon stopped but I wonder what the red and green lights are for. I ought to find out - if there is a real alarm I want to be first out! Finally today I met another person I knew on the down escalator as I was going up and out. Funny how I've been coming to Sainsbury's for a year and it's only in the final weeks that I've run into people I know. Where were they for the rest of the year? And finally, finally eons ago I said I would check out the 'Cashier Confirmed ... ' as sometimes my bill says 'Cashier Confirmed over 18' and sometimes it says 'Cashier Confirmed Over 16'. I'm on the case!

Items bought 29
Total cost £42.47
Cost per item £1.46
Checkout no 22
Nectar points 2689

FRIDAY 10 AUGUST 2007 - IN GO MY PENNIES OUT COMES £10!

It's been a while since my last visit because I've been given time off for good behaviour! Anyway, as I zoom into my last month of my diary there is still much to report. First, today there was a big banner up over the door saying 'Over 7000 prices reduced since January'. This is an interesting statement as I presume this means that in 7 months 7000 items have been reduced in price for a period of time before being increased in price (ie the Top Ten special offer and the like) rather than there are 7000 items in the store that are cheaper than they were at the beginning of the year. This has got me wondering how many items there actually are in the store? There would have to be more than 7000 but how many more? I might do a bit of math & calculation on this before the end of August - it would be nice to conclude with a wonderful piece of research! Despite the grotty weather the 'Enjoy Summer' promotion is still in full swing - the box containing the picnic rugs, cool bags, badminton kits etc is full to overflowing and is even more battered that it was a couple of weeks ago so presumably people are still fighting over the goodies. My picnic rug is being used this week by daughter - I'll report how it fared being sat on by 3 'young ladies' and having assorted liquids and solids spilt (or is it spilled?) on it. And just when I thought we were safe the Animal Hoovers are back, only 2 of them so there has clearly been a cull but back nonetheless. Will they be still there, looking forlorn, as my diary closes in a few weeks time? The excitement of it all! Next, the Coinstar machine. I took in a huge pile of pennies & twopences (and other assorted buttons, Euros and the like as it turned out) and was reward with a voucher for £10.36! My goodness me it did make a noise as all this lot was processed and the nearby checkouts ground to a halt as the source of all this racket was sought and then stared at. I stood there nonchalantly whistling (as you do) not caring one jot and watching the counter click up the 1ps, 2ps 5ps etc etc. Finally on this quick visit - rocket. I jotted this down but now cannot for the life of me remember what it was all about! Ah well, perhaps it will come back to me and if it does I'll let you know.

Items bought 15

Cost £23.05

Cost per item £1.53

Checkout no 18

Nectar points 2605