A Year at Sainsbury's

My diary of weekly trips to Sainsbury's to do my shopping whilst my wife is abroad for a year!

THURSDAY 23 NOVEMBER - LOAN MOAN

Well it had to happen sometime. No, I haven’t been asked to take over running the show from King John (as I will call big cheese John King from now on) or anything else for that matter. Yes, you’ve guessed it … the Christmas decorations are up!!! Well, it’s nearly the end of November so I guess that’s not too bad. I seem to remember not so long ago television adverts for The Famous Grouse, Woolies, Boots and other brands that only seem to wake up at Christmas used to start almost straight after the August Bank Holiday weekend. But, although I don’t watch a lot of television, I haven’t seen too many this year (yet), thank goodness. And whilst the decorations are up at least the carols haven’t started yet so the excitement is being phased this year! Today I found a trolley that had somehow escaped from the rest of the herd (or whatever the collective name for trolleys is – a basket perhaps?) so I didn’t need a £1 to release it. Not quite sure how this would have happened other than the trolley rounder upper (he who rounds up the trolleys) set one free by accident. I found it with all the other trolleys though so obviously freedom was not all it was cracked up to be and now it was pining for company, a mate etc. Anyway, now for some good news! The pork and egg cutting pie has not been superseded by the pork cutting pie! Both are now being sold – how exciting is that!! And for the same price per kilo, so obviously I bought the one with the egg as the egg is free. Eggsellent. Whilst at the ham and cheese counter I noticed an old looking poster for a brand of country farmhouse cheese saying ‘Ask for some today’. So I did – and, blow me, they actually had some which rather took the wind from my sails as I was expecting the server (she who serves) to deny all knowledge. Now, I have to admit I lied last week. When I said I looked at buying the Basics yoghurts and decided against them, I did actually buy some! I found them at the back of my fridge today, so I will try them – the worm has turned! I had a very lively cashier this week. Instead of turning the inbound conveyor on and off, he stood up and leaned down the conveyor and picked up my cauliflower, pork & egg cutting pie, Special K etc. Maybe he’s been told he needs more exercise and this is a way of getting some? I’ve noticed that none of the cashiers put your credit/debit card into the sockety thing on a stalk that you put your pin number into. Instead they do a very theatrical swiping at the side of their till. So, ever the rebel, today I stuck my card into the sockety thing but the lively cashier took it out saying it didn’t work. Why not? Seems odd. I will persevere! Mr Lively also gave me a petrol voucher!!! I’ve never had one of these before (why not?) and they look a good deal – 5p off per litre which is around 5%. Mind you, I’ve no idea where the nearest Sainsbury’s petrol station is so if I’m not careful I will fall into the ‘costing more to get there than you save’ trap! But it was nice to get a voucher, even so. It must be Christmas! As I will need some extra funds for my Christmas shopping I’ve checked out the Sainsbury’s loan offer and guess what? In theory, anyway, it looks OK! The leaflet says you can borrow at ‘6.5% APR typical’. I’ve never really understood APR, only that I suspect it means it costs you more than you think, and the 47 (yes, 47) lines of small print on the back page don’t offer any explanation. I do know, however, that ‘typical’ means sort of an average and the actual rate you are quoted when you apply will vary depending on your credit history and so on. Anyway, inside the leaflet Sainsbury’s compare their rate and repayment amounts with other big hitting lenders such as NatWest, Egg and so on and (surprise, surprise) they are the cheapest. Of course, what they have done is to just list those lenders that charge more than they do so it’s not surprising they’re the cheapest. If you go to their source, Moneyfacts, there you will find rates better than Sainsbury’s. But, having said that it does seem that the Sainsbury’s rate is pretty good, so, after my disappointments with car insurance, pet insurance and savings, this is very welcome! Interestingly, after the 47 lines of small print (and it is really small – electron microscopes needed!) it says ‘Information is available in large print on request’, so I’m tempted to ring in and ask for all the small print stuff to be sent to me in large print and stand by for a huge thud as this wad of paper hits the doormat. Anyway, next week I’m checking out Home Insurance where the leaflet is tempting me with a saving of up to £107 …… Ha! We will see. Well, that’s about it for this week, the car park exit barrier was broken again (I saw it not working when I came in) and I gleefully watched as people put their money into the cash machines unaware that they could park for free. Now, how nasty is that? Still, it is over a month to Christmas and my festive spirit, goodwill to all men etc has yet to kick in.

Items bought 35
Cost £60.99
Cost per item £1.74
Checkout number 12
Nectar points balance 504

FRIDAY 17 NOVEMBER - WINE WHINE

OK here I am back in my usual Friday slot, raring to go! So, what happened today? Well, not very much it has to be said. I think I’ll start with my friends the Basics (again). This week I discovered Basics yoghurts. I was sorely tempted, I have to admit, particularly when I noticed that it said “Still with real fruit” on the packaging. Sounds great, but the use of the word ‘still’ seems to imply that this satisfactory state of affairs is not going to last and that real fruit is destined to be dropped at some stage in the future in favour of … what? Fruit flavouring? The fruit equivalent of surimi (remember that from a few weeks ago? And yes, it is still in my fridge unopened). Anyway, having been tempted I decided against them in favour of some ‘pork and egg cutting pie’ (the pie formerly known as ‘gala pie’ and even more formerly known as ‘veal ham and egg pie’). And, guess what! The name has changed again to ….. ‘pork cutting pie’. I asked the lady behind the counter (should I say lady or woman, I can never remember) if the egg was still in it and she picked up both chunks (not quite sure what the correct name for a thick slab of this stuff is) and peered carefully at each end to find no sign of any egg. So what is on sale now is just good old pork pie! I wonder who thinks up all this name changing and ingredient altering stuff and to what purpose. No doubt there were endless meetings and memos and letters to suppliers etc etc but the question on my mind is … why? Well, whatever the reason it is now off my shopping list – no egg, no buy (isn’t that a Bob Marley song?) I’m afraid. I decided to buy some English wine this week as I am keen to buy British when I can (even though it can sometimes be really difficult – witness my bacon buying in recent weeks). So, I walked slowly up and down the wine displays looking for English wine (particularly on the top shelf with all the adult wines) but couldn’t find any even in the area for the also rans (Blue Nun, Piat d’Or (which although they adore it the French have never heard of apparently) etc etc). So I asked a stocker upper (he who ups the stock when it is running low) and was told that they used to do two and he even remembered their names. One sounded like the dreaded British sherry – made up from concentrate imported from God knows where - but the other sounded quintessentially English, something like ‘Summer Meadow’. And then he did the walking slowly up and down the wine displays routine as well, but to no avail. We concluded that it was no more, presumably it sold poorly and Sainsbury’s axed it. I’m very disappointed. English wine is good stuff these days so come on John (King, big cheese, CEO etc), Sainsbury’s is a British company and should be supporting British producers as much as possible. So, get some in, run a 50% promotion and do some end of aisle displays. That should do the trick. Here’s a promise - if you stock it, I’ll buy it. And I’m sure all the other readers of this diary are up for it as well! Aren’t you both? Now, on to bags. I’ve gone green! Despite the message on the Sainsbury bags at the checkout ‘Please re-use’, I have to admit that my only re-use is for rubbish prior to them being put in my large black friend outside the front door. I read an alarming statistic that, if I remember correctly, some 10,000 plastic bags are given away by supermarkets every minute in Britain and all of them take forever (literally) to bio-degrade or whatever the technical term is. So, I’ve unearthed two green (appropriate colour) bags that have a piece of plastic inside to give them shape and I used these today at the checkout – result….. no Sainsbury’s bags were needed! One small step for man ….. However, why ever don’t Sainsbury’s take a lead and charge for the plastic bags and use the money raised to fund research into recycling? And don’t charge 1p or something derisory, charge 10p per bag as the aim must be to significantly reduce the usage of these eco-unfriendly things. Alternatively turn to recycled brown paper bags (I think they have these in the USA) - even ones that could be used in my brown friend outside the back door (there’s another idea, two in a week, once I get going there’s no stopping me, apart from in one department unfortunately …. ). I know it’s not a big selling point – ‘come to us and be charged for bags’ is not a brilliant slogan (sounds like one for a brothel) – but my goodness it certainly makes a statement about Sainsbury’s greenness! Anyway, that’s about it for this week, I haven’t had time to check out the Sainsbury’s loan offerings yet, but it’s in hand and I’ll report back next week. Just had a look at my bill, another Lorraine Quiche I’m afraid (I’m a sucker for French tarts (not sure I should say that but I think you know what I mean)) and a new member of the cast – O Lemon Cookies. This sounds like a song title like ‘Oh Shenandoah’ or ‘O Sole Mio’ or even the famous American football star O L Cookies’ real name. Or am I thinking of somebody else perhaps?

Items bought 32
Cost £52.89
Cost per item £1.65
Checkout number 19
Nectar points balance 384

FRIDAY 10 NOVEMBER – LITTLE INTEREST IN SAVING

Well, I managed to last for 8 days and I am now back into my Friday lunchtime routine. So, what happened today? I’ll guess I’ll start with my old friends the ‘Basics’! I bought some Basics toilet rolls and whilst I surmise that basic means simply cheap, frankly with toilet rolls I’m not that bothered. They look as though they have less sheets (or whatever the technical term is, shits perhaps?) and are less wide than Andrex and the like but they look OK to me and I’m sure will do the job (actually I will do the job and then them….). I did do a bit more investigating of the Basics range and there are quite a few canned vegetables that are in the Basics range – tomatoes, peas, baked beans (yes, I now know these are pulses but they’re near enough a vegetable as to make no difference). As I presume these are simply other brands with utility labels, I tried to compare the style of the tin that Basics tomatoes are in with the other brands of tomatoes to see if I could see any similarities. Well there were some, same size, same number of concentric rings etc but nothing conclusive. Maybe I’ll buy some Basics and their equivalent ‘real’ brands and compare the products? Then again, perhaps not. One thing I did notice was that there are tinned potatoes in the Basics range. Tinned potatoes! Whatever next? Whilst in the (real) vegetable area I had to pick up a wodge of those small plastic bags that you put your vegetables in as they had tumbled onto the floor. And they are quite heavy! So, each individual bag has some weight, albeit small, and this has got me thinking as to how the weighing and pricing all works. For example, my chicken (small, still 1.3kg and £2.79…. scary) is priced at £2.15 per kilogram so it should cost me £2.795 to buy it but I am only charged £2.79. So Sainsbury’s have lost 0.5p. Hurrah! I wonder if this ‘rounding down’ is normal? Anyway, my carrots weighed 0.455kg and are priced at £0.69 per kilogram, so this works out to 31.39p and I was charged 31p. Fair enough. But doing the same sum with my potatoes (are you still with me?), this worked out at £1.2753 and I was charged £1.28. Also fair enough, I think. Anyway, what it means is that 0.5p and below is rounded down and above 0.5p is rounded up. I wonder if there is any law or practice (correct spelling, note) on this sort of thing? I don’t think there is a regulator for the retail industry (Offshop perhaps) but Sainsbury’s could always round the exact 0.5p up rather than down, now there’s a thought, I bet it all those pennies would net them a tidy sum and nobody really could complain (or even notice). Hey John (King, CEO, big cheese etc), there’s an idea – but remember who thought of it first. I asked to have my Nectar points deducted at the checkout and the cashier said I didn’t have any. Untrue, I think what she meant was that I had less than 500 and therefore had not reached a cashing-in point. Which is what I thought would happen. So, I think that wraps up Nectar points, although I did notice I can get them on my electricity bill, but it’s such a palaver (there’s a good old word you don’t hear very often these days) I’m not going to bother. I parked on the hugely high Level 4 today (I have given up my aim of parking in as many spaces on level 1 as possible as I just can’t seem to find one most weeks, disappointing but there you go). No oxygen supplied but I did notice that the décor in the corridor is like new – clearly few people get up this far! OK, not particularly interesting, I know, but 'interest' leads me neatly on to the Sainsbury’s Savings offer which I have checked out. It says ‘Think Big. Up to 4.60%* AER’ but on delving into the small print on the bottom of the last page I find that the * means an investment of £100,000 and above is needed! I have to say what I have put by is a bit short of this HUGE amount. And AER is defined but again not until the small print on the last page and anyway is virtually impossible to understand. I think it basically means you get less than you think you will! Maybe it should be LTYT instead? But the real killer is that the blurb explains that the Sainsbury’s rate is higher than than the average of several hundred other similar accounts. So, the slogan on the front of the leaflet shouldn’t be ‘Think Big’, but ‘Think Just Above Average – That’s Us!’. Not a vote winner, I admit, but nearer the mark. So, three Sainsbury’s offers down (car insurance, pet insurance and savings) and not many left to go. Next week, I’ll be checking out their loan offer, I think I know what my conclusion will be. Finally, I had another Lorraine Quiche on my bill today (French tart, you’ll remember) and a Roll Poppy (lucky Poppy and something for me to look forward to). Sad person that I am, I bought a country granary loaf hoping for an inappropriate abbreviation on my bill but it wasn’t to be …

Items bought 28
Cost £44.22
Cost per item £1.57
Checkout number 16
Nectar points balance 280

THURSDAY 2 NOVEMBER - ON THE LEVEL (BUT WHICH ONE?)

Yes it’s Thursday again! Well, I’ve got my shopping down to such a tee now that it lasts exactly a week and so in I have to go today otherwise I get no lunch. Anyway, this week I don’t have a pound coin to release the trolley from captivity (it had to happen sometime) so I ask on the enquiry desk for some change. Whilst there I congratulate the enquiree (she who receives enquiries) on Sainsbury’s winning the Supermarket of the Year Award. She looked at me blankly. “Did we?” she asks. I point to the banner just above our head (an apology is due – it was there all the time and wasn’t taken down after a week after all), which she hasn’t noticed. “Did you get a bonus?” I ask. Gloomy facial expression, followed by “I’m just pleased to have a job…..”. So I was right – disappointingly the award means nothing when you get down to the local level. So come on, Mr King (the big cheese) get some pride & passion into your local stores and make your employees feel part of a winning team! Anyway, on to this week’s shopping experience, which was actually pretty uneventful. I’ve noticed that the man on the wet fish counter is a younger version of Captain Birds Eye – now how appropriate is that! I wonder if Sainsbury’s have done this on purpose by advertising for a wet fish counter manager who looks like an old dog. Sea, that is. Talking of dogs I checked out Sainsbury’s pet insurance, and I’m afraid they only cover cats and dogs. How dull. I was hoping to be able to insure my cross between a parrot and a lion (when it talks you bloody well listen) but no such luck. I found another item from the Sainsbury’s Basics range today – 16 Seafood Sticks. They look like small pieces of seaside rock (can you still buy this?) and they so took my eye I bought a packet (a bit racy at 89p but it is in the interests of research). Their description is ‘Individually wrapped crab flavoured surimi fish protein sticks with water and starch’. Goodness, that sounds awful. And even worse it says ‘Thailand’ on the packaging. So, whatever is this stuff? Well, contrary to what you might think surimi is actually not a fish but is ‘minced, processed fish used in the preparation of imitation seafood, especially imitation shellfish’. A sort of mash of all sorts of fish which is then flavoured, in this case with extract of crab. Believe it or not, it is all above board and surimi is a recognised fish product. But it looks grim and I think my purchase is likely to end up in my brown friend outside the back door (although this means opening it which I am somewhat loth to do). I wonder if my sticks have the word ‘Thailand’ through them like the sticks of rock of old? I was under pressure at the checkout today so forgot to ask if I could deduct my Nectar points from my bill (under 500 so it shouldn’t be possible). The conveyor was on (without me asking) and it doesn’t half make you pack in a rush as all this tsunami like shopping comes hurtling towards you. I only just had time to pick up the Savings leaflet, I’ve got a bit put by so I’ll give this a go after my disappointments with car insurance and pet insurance. Next, the car park. My aim to park in as many places as possible in my Year at Sainsbury’s is not going too well as on quite a few occasions I’ve been forced to park in the dizzy heights of Level 2. The problem with Level 2 is that to get back to it with your shopping trolley requires an escalator ride to Level 1, a lift ride to Level 3 followed by a ramp walk down to Level 2. Tough for the geographically challenged like me. OK, you’ve worked it out, why don’t I get the lift to Level 3 and cut out one leg of the journey? Well, I always forget and do the ‘walking out onto Level 1 and looking for my car like a fool’ routine before realising my mistake. And I know its getting repetetive but the exit barrier is still broken. Finally, I’ve noticed that in addition to ‘mature cheddar’, ‘small chicken’ and so on my bill I managed to make some surprising purchases – I like the sound of Lorraine Quiche (a French tart, no doubt) and Warburton Crusty (a character from Little Britain?). There must be a name for this kind of thing, they’re not spoonerisms (those are Shirley Bassey = Burly Chassis) or malapropisms (like Del Boy’s “good to be back on the old terracotta”) but something similar. I’ll check it out and let you know. Anyhow, must go, I’m eager to try my individually wrapped crab flavoured … (not).

Items bought 31
Cost £51.03
Cost per item £1.65
Checkout number 15
Nectar Points balance 90